My commute is ROUGH.
What Happened
A person was reportedly hit and killed by a Frontier Airlines plane on a runway during its takeoff at Denver International Airport. Further details regarding the incident and the identity of the person were not immediately available.
Our Take
Alright, folks, gather ’round, because if there’s one thing I love more than a good cup of coffee, it’s an absurd headline that makes you do a double-take. And today’s winner, by a landslide, is ‘Frontier plane hits, kills person on runway during takeoff at Denver airport.’ I mean, seriously?! You read that and your brain just… glitches. Is it a person-sized plane? A plane-sized person? Is it a new extreme sport I’m not aware of? ‘Runway Dodgeball: Denver Edition’?
Let’s break this down. Frontier Airlines. Bless their budget-airline hearts. They’re usually known for charging you extra to *breathe* on the plane, not for, you know, unexpected runway fatalities. And Denver airport? The place where you spend half your vacation just trying to get to your rental car. Now it’s the setting for a real-life game of Frogger, but with jets instead of semi-trucks.
My mind immediately conjured an image straight out of a Wile E. Coyote cartoon. You’ve got the person, probably just trying to get a selfie with a plane – because, let’s be honest, that’s peak airport behavior – and then BAM! A Frontier plane, probably looking a bit disheveled, maybe one of its ‘Wild Animals of the Rockies’ livery looking particularly grumpy, just… clips ’em. Not even a graceful landing, a *takeoff*! The audacity!
And the fact that it’s ‘during takeoff’ makes it even funnier in a dark, ‘oh no, not again’ sort of way. Like the plane was just getting into its stride, thinking, ‘Yes! Freedom! Blue skies!’ and then suddenly, ‘Oh. Hold on. Was that a speed bump? A particularly enthusiastic ground crew member?’
This isn’t just a news story; it’s a cautionary tale. A modern-day Icarus, but instead of flying too close to the sun, they got too close to a budget airline’s takeoff path. The moral of the story? Always respect the yellow lines. And maybe, just maybe, don’t try to outrun a plane. Especially not one operated by Frontier. They’re on a tight schedule, and frankly, they probably didn’t even notice. They probably just blamed it on ‘additional weight incurred by an over-enthusiastic carry-on bag.’
So, next time you’re at the airport, keep your wits about you. And if you hear a plane making a strange ‘thump’ sound during takeoff, just assume it’s a rogue suitcase, definitely not a human being. Because, well, that’s just too absurd, isn’t it? (Wink, wink.)
💬 “Uh, Dad… did you…?” — 💬 “Just ‘turbulence,’ son. Just ‘turbulence.'”
Inspired by: Frontier plane hits, kills person on runway during takeoff at Denver airport – The Colorado Sun
