Village goes full Sherlock (but with more dirt).
What Happened
A Dutch village is hoping that recently discovered bones belong to a fabled ‘fourth musketeer’ from history, adding a potential new chapter to the lore of the famous literary figures and their real-life inspirations.
Our Take
Alright, alright, settle down folks! Have you seen this headline? ‘Are These the Bones of the Fourth Musketeer? This Dutch Village Hopes So.’ Hopes so?! Oh, you know they’re not just hoping, they’re probably already selling ‘Authentic Musketeer Bone Dust’ in little velvet pouches down by the canal. I mean, how did we even get here? Did someone stumble upon a suspiciously large femur while planting tulips and go, ‘Eureka! D’Artagnan’s long-lost shin bone!’ And why the ‘fourth’ musketeer? What happened to the first three? Did they just leave their bones lying around? Was there a musket-themed scavenger hunt in 17th-century Holland?
I can just picture the scene: A village elder, let’s call her Mieke, who’s been waiting her entire life for something exciting to happen in ‘Sleepy Hollow-on-the-Rhine.’ One day, she’s tending her prize-winning petunias, when *clink* goes the shovel. She pulls out something that looks suspiciously like a dog’s chew toy from a giant. Immediately, she’s not thinking ‘ancient farm animal,’ she’s thinking ‘international historical discovery!’ Next thing you know, she’s convinced it’s the legendary fourth musketeer, Bartholomew ‘Barty’ Buttercup, who, according to local folklore she just invented, was known for his particularly robust ankles.
And the village? Oh, they’re all in! Imagine the town council meeting: ‘Hans, are we sure this isn’t just a very old cow?’ ‘Silence, Gerda! This is our chance! Think of the tourism! ‘Come to [Fictional Dutch Village Name], where we *might* have the bones of a guy who *might* have known the other guys!” They’ll have ‘Musketeer Bone’ themed lattes, souvenir muskets made of plastic, and an annual ‘Bone-a-Thon’ where everyone digs randomly in their backyards. I bet Mieke even has a ‘Barty’s Bones’ Instagram account. And honestly, who am I to judge? If I found a suspiciously old, large bone in my garden, I’d probably convince myself it was a dinosaur who loved my hydrangeas. It beats finding another one of my neighbor’s lost garden gnomes, right? So, here’s to the Dutch village and their hopeful, maybe-musketeer bones. May their tourism boom be legendary, even if Barty Buttercup turns out to be Barry the Bovine.
💬 “IT’S D’ARTAGNAN’S ANKLE!” — 💬 “Pretty sure that’s a cow.”
Inspired by: Are These the Bones of the Fourth Musketeer? This Dutch Village Hopes So. – The New York Times
