When Italy met… oat milk.
What Happened
Ferrari fans are reportedly upset with the company’s new electric vehicle (EV), claiming it feels ‘too Californian.’ The criticism highlights a clash between traditional automotive enthusiasts’ expectations of performance and sound, and the modern, eco-friendly design of electric cars.
Our Take
Alright, gather ’round, folks, because today we’re tackling a crisis of epic proportions, a true travesty that strikes at the very heart of… *checks notes*… Italian automotive passion. The headline reads: ‘Angry Ferrari fans say the Italian company’s new EV is too Californian.’ Now, when I first read that, my mind immediately went to ‘too Californian’ meaning it has a yoga mat dispenser in the trunk, or it exclusively runs on kale smoothies. But no, it’s worse. Much, much worse.
Imagine, if you will, a sleek, fire-engine red Ferrari. The kind that usually makes sounds that could awaken ancient gods and send pigeons scattering in fear. Now, imagine it… silently *whirring* past a bougainvillea bush. A *whirring* Ferrari! That’s like a mime trying to out-yell a rock concert. It’s fundamentally *wrong*.
And ‘too Californian’? What does that even *mean* in this context? Does it come with a built-in crystal healing station? Does it automatically navigate to the nearest juice cleanse retreat? Is the horn sound a gentle chime of mindfulness? I picture these furious Italian nonnos, who bleed motor oil and espresso, seeing this car. Their hands, usually gesticulating wildly about the perfection of a V12 engine, now just hang limp, clutching their melting gelato.
They probably imagined a car that still smelled faintly of race fuel and rich mahogany, but instead, it smells like… artisanal kombucha and maybe a hint of lavender. And the charging port? Forget the elegant, aerodynamic lines. They probably envision it looking like an oversized, glowing avocado – because, you know, California. Suddenly, their car isn’t a symbol of raw power and unbridled passion; it’s an appliance. An extremely fast, very expensive, environmentally conscious appliance. That’s like telling Michelangelo to paint with finger paints. It just doesn’t compute.
And then the final indignity: having to plug it in. I bet they imagine plugging it into a regular wall outlet, surrounded by a tangle of extension cords, just like they’re charging their electric toothbrush, not a multi-hundred-thousand-dollar symbol of automotive excellence. The sheer absurdity of it all! Their inner Italian soul is screaming, ‘Where is the rumble? Where is the fire? Where is the existential dread of accidentally revving too high in a tunnel?!’ Instead, they get the gentle hum of an electric motor and the quiet satisfaction of reducing their carbon footprint. It’s enough to make a grown man weep into his tiramisu. And honestly, I don’t blame them.
💬 “MY NONNA WOULD WEEP!” — 💬 “IT’S A… BLENDER!”
Inspired by: Angry Ferrari fans say the Italian company’s new EV is too Californian – Los Angeles Times
