My resume said ‘expert in flight simulation.’
What Happened
Police have revealed that an Air Canada pilot allegedly flew commercial planes with passengers for several years using a fake pilot’s license. The individual was reportedly operating flights without proper certification, raising significant safety concerns.
Our Take
Alright, folks, gather ’round, because if you thought your last flight was a nightmare, just wait until you hear this. Apparently, some dude was out there flying ACTUAL AIRPLANES with a FAKE PILOT’S LICENSE. I’m not talking about a ‘my dog ate my homework’ fake, I’m talking full-on ‘I watched Top Gun a lot and own a really nice flight simulator’ fake. For years! YEARS! Can you imagine? All those times you were politely asking for another mini-bag of pretzels, there might have been a guy in the cockpit Googling ‘how to land a 747 in a crosswind.’
I mean, forget about turbulence, I’d be worried about ‘accidental barrel rolls because I thought it looked cool in the movie.’ And the pre-flight checks? ‘Okay, engines… check. Wings… check. My official-looking laminated card… check!’ It’s like finding out your surgeon got their medical degree from a cereal box. ‘Scalpel! Wait, which end is the sharp one again?’
What’s next? My barista is actually a highly trained squirrel with a tiny apron? My accountant is a sentient spreadsheet that just wings it? This story makes me question everything. How did nobody notice? Was he just really good at pretending to understand the jargon? ‘Uh, roger that, tower, commencing… uh… vroom vroom into the sky thingy!’ And the passengers! Picture them, blissfully unaware, watching a movie, while in the front, some guy is frantically pushing buttons, hoping one of them is the ‘auto-pilot, please don’t let us crash’ button.
I’m picturing the moment he got caught. Probably tried to pay for gas with Monopoly money. Or maybe someone overheard him asking if the ‘red button does the cool smoky trail thing.’ This is why I always bring my own parachute. You know, just in case the pilot’s credentials turn out to be a crayon drawing. Next time you fly, make sure to ask for the pilot’s actual LinkedIn profile. And maybe a quick pop quiz on aerodynamics. Just to be safe. Because apparently, ‘years of experience’ can just mean ‘years of not getting caught.’
💬 “Is this ‘UP’ or ‘DOWN’?” — 💬 “Sir, that’s for a drone…”
Inspired by: Air Canada pilot flew passengers for years with a fake pilot’s license, police say – CNN
