My therapist told me to stop holding onto baggage.
What Happened
United Airlines is increasing its checked bag fees by $10, with the new rates taking effect this Friday. This marks an adjustment in the airline’s pricing structure for baggage.
Our Take
Alright, gather ’round, folks, because United Airlines just decided to play a little game called ‘How Much Can We Charge You For Your Underwear?’ The headline screams it: ‘United Airlines is raising bag fees by $10 beginning Friday.’ Ten dollars! For a bag! That’s like, two fancy coffees. Or half a movie ticket. Or the emotional support I’ll need after trying to avoid this fee.
First, can we just appreciate the timing? ‘Beginning Friday.’ Not ‘sometime next month,’ not ‘after a thorough review of market conditions.’ Nope. ‘Friday.’ It’s like they’re giving us just enough time to panic-pack and decide if our favorite socks are truly worth the extra ten bucks. Spoiler alert: they probably aren’t. Not if those socks mean I can’t afford a tiny, single-serving bag of chips later.
This isn’t just a fee increase; it’s an existential crisis in miniature. Do I really need that second pair of shoes? Is this T-shirt *truly* essential, or can I just wear the same one for three days and pretend it’s ‘vintage’? You start doing mental gymnastics that would make an Olympic gymnast dizzy. You weigh your memories against the cold, hard cash. ‘Do I love this souvenir magnet enough to pay an extra ten dollars for its journey?’ The answer, heartbreakingly, is usually no.
And let’s be real, it’s not like the initial bag fee was a ‘gift’ to begin with. It’s always felt like a little ‘gotcha!’ at the end of a seemingly good flight deal. You see a cheap ticket, you get excited, and then BAM! Here’s your ‘luggage luxury tax.’ Now, they’re just adding insult to injury. It’s like getting a pizza, and then they charge you extra for the box. The box! That’s how my clothes get there, United!
I envision a future where people are showing up at the gate wearing full-on winter gear in August, carrying their entire electronics collection in their laps, and looking like they’re smuggling a small dog in every pocket. My comic? That’s not even a caricature, that’s a premonition. Soon, we’ll all be trying to cram a refrigerator into a carry-on, or just becoming human packing cubes. Because when faced with paying an extra ten dollars, suddenly becoming a walking closet seems like a perfectly logical, financially sound decision. Anything to avoid that dreaded swipe, that extra ding on the credit card statement. My savings are already crying, United. Stop making them sob.
💬 “Just… a little… more…” — 💬 “Layer up, buttercup.”
Inspired by: United Airlines is raising bag fees by $10 beginning Friday – The Points Guy
