When ‘humble’ isn’t in the vocabulary.
What Happened
Former President Trump is reportedly planning a presidential library that will be a skyscraper, featuring not one, but two gold statues of himself. This grand vision goes beyond traditional presidential libraries, emphasizing a monumental and self-referential design.
Our Take
Alright, folks, gather ’round, because today’s news is less ‘breaking’ and more ‘my jaw is on the floor and I think it broke.’ We’re talking about Trump’s presidential library plans. Now, usually, a presidential library is a stately affair, a place of historical reflection, perhaps a gift shop selling tasteful mugs. You know, ‘Here’s where Honest Abe read books, and here’s a small diorama of the Emancipation Proclamation.’
But oh no, not this time! We’re not getting a library; we’re getting a *skyscraper*. A skyscraper! I picture it looking like the world’s most aggressive trophy case. And the best part? It’s going to have *two* gold statues of himself. TWO! Not one, which would already be pushing the boundaries of self-adoration into the stratosphere, but *two*. I’m picturing one on top, striking a heroic pose, and then another one, just chilling on the side, maybe giving a thumbs-up like he just parallel-parked a yacht.
Can you imagine being the architect? ‘Okay, so for the presidential library, we’re thinking neoclassical, perhaps some marble…’ *Trump bursts in* ‘NO! GOLD! AND MAKE IT TALL! SO TALL IT SCRAPES HEAVEN! AND PUT ME ON TOP! TWICE!’ I bet the blueprints just say ‘MORE GOLD’ in crayon.
And the poor construction workers. I can just hear the foreman: ‘Alright, Johnson, today you’re attaching the second 30-foot gold effigy. Try not to get blinded by its sheer majesty, or the sun’s reflection.’ Johnson probably goes home and just stares blankly at his own reflection, wondering where his life went wrong. He probably started out dreaming of building bridges, and now he’s bolting on a giant golden chin.
What kind of ‘historical artifacts’ are going to be in this library-scraper? A golden toilet? A framed tweet? A signed receipt from a golf course? And will the gift shop sell mini gold statues? Because I guarantee they’d sell out. People love a good absurdity, and this, my friends, is peak absurdity. It’s not a library; it’s a monument to the concept of ‘extra.’ I’m half-expecting it to have a built-in laser show every evening, projecting ‘YOU’RE FIRED!’ onto the clouds. Truly a modern wonder.
💬 “Seriously? TWO?!” — 💬 “My therapist quit.”
Inspired by: Trump plans presidential library skyscraper with two gold statues of himself – The Washington Post
